Canterbury Tales Redux

So here is the story of me going home after the wedding:

The party was at a place called Ängby Slott which is west-north-west part of stockholm which is an area I’ve been in twice in my entire life. But being the practical “thinking of everything” person I am I had checked “how to get home” and as always taxi rules but subway was an option. When they threw us out I tried getting a cab and failed, no cabs available in the vicinity, so tha hell with it, lets walk to the subway. First problem was I didn’t know what was north or south, no references at all. So I tossed a coin and went this way. And that turned out to be correct! Unfortunately the train was 20 minutes away so I sat down to wait. Normally in these circumstances I am very quiet and keep to myself and don’t bother anyone. Tonight was gonna be different!

At first there was this elderly lady that sat down next to me. The entire hall was empty, she had like 40 seats to chose from but she sat down next to me cause I “seemed like a nice man”, and then she got to talking how the youth of today was so rude and disrespectful that if she sat alone somewhere some kids would see her as easy target. So we sat there, trashing todays youth, talking about stuff and how lovely weddings are, pretty nice chat. Even though I was pretty wasted.

And then onto the subway at Åkeshov going all the way down to Hagsätra which is 26 stations!! At Brommaplan a young couple boarded that was in a very heated discussion about Lars Brandeby vs. Micke Persbrandt as best actor and I joined in on that conversation. I have no idea why but I joined in and before they left on Odenplan we’d all agreed Micke won. On the central station a woman with a … distinguishable hat sat down next to me and on the nexts seats a bunch of these teenboppers sat down, very loud obnoxious disrespectful kids and one of them thought it was a good idea to always spit on the floor, which you really don’t do on the subway. But I minded my own business. But the woman next to me politely asked him to stop and he started up with “you really think I care what some ugly chick with a stupid hat say!? Shut up, as if I care!” and on his second round of that speech I got up and grabbed him as hard as I could and shoved up against the wall and got right up in his face and did the worst bad boy one-liner impression I could. The guy got shitscared and was desperately looking for someone to help him but everyone was as annoyed with him as I was. So after standing like that for 2 minutes he was almost ready to cry and I let him go and he jumped off at the next station and I went back to my seat and pretended it was raining, wondering if that was a good thing I did or not. I have no idea what the woman next to me thought cause I never really saw her that well and she went off a few stations after.

Then at Globen the next funny bunch came in – 5 20 something kids that had been out partying for the 5th day in a row and we ended up with a new product – “post-party bag” containing everything you need after any party. It was everything from plastic puke bag to flashlight and even a compass (see earlier that evening). It was a hilarious discussion where my years of experience came in handy and we even named the product but I have no idea what, but it was fun! Then I ended up in Hagsätra and walked a mile or so to the busstop and waited for the buss and that’s when I did it again. Yeap, I yanked up my phone to start texting my friends! Everything from inappropriate perverted jokes with the groom to “don’t you dare get married!” jokes with my bestest buddy. And then buss home, walked another mile to my apartment, sent off the last few messages and hit the bed with a big fat smile on my face!

And how long did that all take me? Well we were thrown out at 01:30. And that last text message went out at 03:56. That’s 2 hours 26 minutes for what would otherwise have been a max 30 minute taxi ride. But in all fairness I would never have had those four very funny experiences had I gone in a cab hom so I am very happy I didn’t. Who knew the subway could be that fun? Who knew I could be that conversational!!

Update: I remembered the name as I was walking around in the christmas shopping chaos – “Party Pose”… which kinda only works in swedish (intoxicated at 4 am, “Pose” and “Påse” do sound alike!)… man that was fun at the time.

Oh What A Night

Ok that was a blast! I really didn’t expect to have _that_ much fun, for some reason, but it was!!
The ceremony was beautiful, usual slip of the tongue (mostly by the priest!), then off in a buss with a driver that took a wrong turn so we had to walk for a little while but nobody seemed to mind. The dinner was good even though it never got that chatty. One funny little thing they had done was a little pamphlet with various information in it and they had listed all the guests with a small little note that was intended to stir up some conversation or atleast open it up. Unfortunately on me they had written “hates NPC:s, Razer ftw!!” and when people asked I had to explain just how white and nerdy I am!! I had no idea we were suppose to hold a speach, apparently “childhood friends” are suppose to do that? So between the four of us we came up with… nothing really, and I fucked up my little bit of nothing, but atleast we got another toast out of it. Then tables away and the dancefloor was open and I was up there… thrice I think, one of those times ended up with me on the floor… you had to be there. And then one of the more interesting rides home. But I’ll update about that tomorrow cause it’s gonna be long!

Some great memories from that day : Johan doing the imperial march from Star Wars as the bride entered, Jannes uncontrollable yawns during the ceremony, the buss getting stuck, the Andersson family’s version of “Världens Bästa Bamse” (give mp3!), the peppar steak, the cake, the two people with the cameras that were everywhere (one of them even joined the dancefloor!), all the 80’s music, Jocke and Johans two dances.. or whatever that was, my new two personal heroes – Jonas and Lars and the ride home.
And only one “are you dating anyone yet?” and three “who are you here with? What, you’re single? But you”re 32!”. Wouldn’t be a wedding without them!

All in all – kick ass wedding!!

Off To A Wedding

I’m off to a wedding now. I thought they would’ve called off the bluff now, but this conspiracy to try to get me suited up and stuff goes on. But whatever makes them happy 🙂
I haven’t been to many weddings unfortunately. There was this one with my huge family turned out a bit dull as I remember it, was this one for my sis’ best friends that was pretty funny. Then there was the one with Marcus & Linda that was a very good wedding and party afterwards but thanks to other circumstances I couldn’t fully enjoy it and left early. Today I have no such problems at all! I’m totally expecting to sit there defending how “being singel is fun!” while everyone else pitties me, then drink the pain away and end up asking why noone loves me. Nah….

Damnit, I Hate It When I’m Right

Yeap, I was right. “Nines only goes with Nines and Fours goes with Fours. Sometimes there’s the mathematical anomaly, usually when there’s money involved…”. Not an exact quote of House but you get the point. Official reason was “no chemistry”, I dunno if 100 minutes of laughing a bit over a beer or two is reason enough to totally call it off, but atleast she gave me a chance, credit for that.
Ofcourse it is a bit hypocritical of me to say stuff like that, ’cause obviously I’m just as shallow when I make that assessment that a woman is out of my league, or even below it, but I’m pretty damn sure everyone is just as bad. But the only time this hasn’t even been an issue was with “case closed” that I just thought was a beautiful person no matter what, and look what that got me! … the search goes on …

Oh, cookies!

Dentists. Love ‘Em Or Hate ‘Em

I can’t decide if I love or hate dentists. I mean there’s gotta be something wrong with a person waking up every morning, going to work and spend their day in strangers mouths with all the disgusting things in there. I can’t possibly imagine anyone enjoying that. But I am really grateful someone is doing that job! Then there is this whole “I learned something new today thing” – I still learn new stuff about computers and software every day, but there are only that many things that can go wrong with teeth and only so many things they can do to fix it! … The old argument of how expensive it is isn’t really holding anymore though, last time I charged for fixing a computer (2 years ago) the going rate was $120 per hour, and I wasn’t that academically educated and if I f*cked up worst case was that person had to buy a new computer. A dentist goes to school for years and their worst case results in surgery and permanent injuries and she only charged me … $120 for 40 minutes of her time.

But still, gotta be something wrong with a person for enjoying a work like that…

>I woke up today feeling pretty happy about things. I got my wheels changed on my car so I can drive this winter, I got “Sunshine” on Blueray, I saw plenty of nice women on my way to work and work has gone on pretty well. I was pretty happy. Then someone that remembered my little update a few weeks ago about “no is not always a no, sometimes it means ‘try harder'” and that rape-trial that was going on. Anyway, she pointed me to a new website produced by “Operation Kvinnofrid” that was designed to talk about this kind of thing. The site is called “okejsex.nu” and at first I really liked it. And I was just looking for the “and this is for you girls – don’t say no when you don’t really mean it” part. And there was nothing! The entire site just has one messages – rapists are just guys not knowing where the line is drawn. There is this whole section about mutual respect and all that. The thing is if I lived by what that website is promoting (and come to think of it, I think I do…) I wouldn’t be getting any sex ever at all. I got pretty pissed at it cause noway at all does it even suggest that girls saying no while meaning try harder is even an issue or that it even exists. So very biased. Oh well, atleast I got my cookies!

Too lazy

After the past months of having busy weekends I had one with absolutely no plans what so ever. Not even buying groceries or leaving the apartment. Although I eventually did both. And bought myself a new exercise bike to break.

But most of all I steamrolled through a ton of episodes of “House”. I love that show. I love that character, have so much in common with that guy it’s scary. From the sarcastic humor at everyones expense to the bittery view of mankind as a whole, I totally love that character. And then I changed channel to TV4 Comedy and saw Hugh Laurie in the good old Black Adder episodes, what a laugh 🙂
And tomorrow it’s back to work again but I really did have a kick ass lazy weekend not doing shit.

Feeling very, very old and worn

Yesterday we had a bachelor party for my old friend Henrik. We went to the same school for 12 years and in the same class for 6 and basically spent every weekend of my 15,16 and 17 years with him, Janne and Johan. We did a very successfully kidnapping when he thought he was going for a doctor’s appointment. We went to play some paintball (which hurt more than I remember), dinner at Fridays, then some relaxing spa and finishing off at a nightclub near his home so he could easily get home if we got _that_ loaded. It was around 12 hours of fun for everyone (I hope) while drinking loads amounts of beer. Really good stuff. The only problem was that nightclub stuff. I’ve never liked nightclubs really but at the very least I get drunk and some blackjack. We ended up at Garbo’s which is a place I used to sped alot of weekends at when I worked at MinDator back when I was 20-25. Back then it was fun. This time it was just sad. The meat market feeling was 10 times worse than I remember it. And I was just laying back and just not even bothering. Some of the guys, most of which were hitched, asked why I wasn’t up picking up some of the very nice chicks there (and some of them were hot enough to make me believe in god again), my response was 1) It’s gone to the point where I don’t even bother, too much work and 2) … would you really wanna drag a chick that dresses like that home to mother? I just can’t bother with it any more, and it’s alot of fun watching some guys try really hard and not noticing that “get me out here!” looks the girls give their friends 🙂
And then there was the music. It wasn’t too loud it was just… 80% of the music people danced to were music I used to enjoy and dance to when I was half my current age, it was just hotted up with a tempo beat. Just so completely wrong and it felt so recycled and when “Mr Vain” played it felt like all this kids should just leave and let the old schoolers rock the dance floor 🙂

But generally a VERY succesfull evening!! Pictures!!

Still A Sucker For Tradition

A while back I made an update that I’m a sucker for tradition. And today I’m proving that yet again – if I were to call anyone up and say “happy birthday” out of the blue they would be completely shocked and wonder what tha hell was wrong with me. I just don’t do it. I either forget it or it’s not a big deal or that person don’t wanna be reminded of it, or I do think about it but before I actually make it happen something else comes up.
Well today is my sister’s 24th birthday (ok, not really 24th but let’s play ‘pretend’!) and I totally know it, I’ve had plenty of time to call her, hell I’ve even talked to her this morning, but it’s just not me. It’s almost a tradition by now. Which is a weird tradition to NOT do something. But weird is good…

Contrasts

I just love contrasts and today I got the best one yet! The train I take to work in the morning starts 2 stations ahead of me so by the time it comes to my station it isn’t very well heated. And this was a pretty cold morning. So I get on the train and squeeze myself into a corner seat next to the radiator that was set to max burn. So on my left side I’m all warm and good and my hand is almost too hot, but on my right side it’s cold and my right hand is almost freezing. Interesting scenario 🙂

"Is there a doctor in the house!?"

Ok, that is a pretty bad comment but it’s such an obvious joke when you create a TV show about a doctor called House!?

My weekend was so slow (but not boring!) that I downloaded and watched the first season of “House M.D”. It’s pretty funny and at the same time worrying how much can go wrong with the human body! I mean if I wasn’t a hypocondriac before I saw the show I’m pretty sure I am now, can’t even sneeze without thinking about the preassure that it puts on my body!

And I’ve been doing alot of riding my exercise bike in the past months. So much that I think I broke it. And I have no idea where to hand in stuff like that for service. So I guess I’ll gain a few pounds again 🙁

Weekend Again!?

Wow, that week went by way too quickly. And nothing in particular happened. Not that I’m gonna bore you with anyway. As a matter of fact it’s been a really boring week. Usually that’s a symptom that you’ve got some kick ass weekend you’re looking forward to that the week just flies by, and that’s the weird thing, I was sure I’d made some plans for this weekend with someone but just can’t remember what it was?! Coming up empty which means it’s gonna be a slow weekend with Warcraft, catching up with Heroes and movies and hoping someone calls and say “hey, got a party brewing, come over” 🙂

Accidentally caught some live show with Avril Lavigne, you know that small pissed off 17 year old canadian that was big in 2001/2002? … she grew up really nicely. Not a big fan of her music unfortunately.

Learn to communicate!

This weekend we had a kick-off conference thing planned for the entire IT department at work, which is a total of 13 people. The last 2 events we’ve done haven’t been that successfull so my expecations weren’t high at all. And when we got there and there was a guy there that started talking that we were gonna learn to communicate better and that’d help us professionally as well as privately. My usual “yeah right, as if he knows my job, this ain’t gonna help me one bit”-persona kicked in but I am at least gonna hear him out. So I listened to him carefully and followed his arguments and stuff he said and… well, I don’t think he said much I didn’t already know and not alot that we couldn’t figure out for ourselves and most of it was “ofcourse”, but his way of presenting it and giving real life examples and adapting to exactly how it would help me every day thinking about those things and how to deal with people of different personalities and handling stuff like that, it was quite interesting. And it certainly will affect me professionally, no doubt about it. Personally?… probably not, but we’ll see. Overall a very good weekend. And I got to do a bit of cooking when we actually had to cook our own 4 course dinner which was pretty fun. Just too bad it sucks cooking dinner when you’re single 🙂

I tried avoiding the camera as well but one guy from our Gothenberg branch caught me and I’m pretty happy with the result! (yes, photoshopped slightly)

Alot to say – but how and where

There’s alot going on but I really don’t know how much I can say without having to face the music “in real life”. That “chapter closed” is still closed, we’re simply just not talking anymore which makes me kinda sad how something so good can end so badly. But I did manage to get another date through the web-dateing site, but she had found this place even before we first met so I’m not gonna go into details, don’t wanna ruin another one. And I “dinged” 93 kilos the other day (“dinged” is a very technical World of Warcraft term for achieving a goal), but unfortunately I’ve really slacked the past few days so gotta be careful with that. Other than that – life walking along nicely with my biggest concerns being if I should buy a new 8 gig Clix MP3 player or wait for the 16 gig Apple iTouch.

Excellent Planning

That comment yesterday may need explanation and if she wants one I’ll be happy to, just not here. I have no problems laying out my whole life here, but this wasn’t only my life.

But anyway!… I don’t know how I do it. I am not good at counting exactly how much money I spend, where it goes and exactly how much I have left but on any given month I have a few hundred left on the 24th (since 25th is payday). I can’t remember the last time it didn’t work out, somehow. Well guess what – it’s the 24th and I have 30 swedish crowns left and 6 hours to payday! How’s that for planning?! .. ofc it did mean taking the car to work but I’m a problem solver!

Tuesdays

Back when I was in college (like 13 years ago) I started a pretty bad habbit. I went to bed way too late on saturday, which meant waking up at noon on sunday which resulted in not falling asleep until 2am on sunday -> monday and up at 6 to get to school (or now “work”) and this all resulted in me hating to get up on tuesday morning since my body desperately needed to catch up on the sleep. It was a huge problem back then cause I think I missed like 7-8 tuesday lectures, which was alot considering I was only going to lectures for 3 months until I went into “forget the questions someone give me another beer”-mode. And it still plagues me. This morning I was totally considering calling in sick ’cause I had less than 0 energy. But my allegiance to my friend and collegue Peter that would’ve had a terrible day alone was too great so I dragged my ass up and onto the train. And by the time I got to Stockholm it was all normal and now after an italian lunch I so wanna go back to bed again. Am I lazy or what!?

You’re over me? When were you under me?

I know this is getting old. About 10 months old. But just one more…

After 2 1/2 weeks she decided to write me back on that, and she did it with something borderlining poetry which I didn’t expect. But being the deep guy I can be I totally got what she wrote. Totally, 100%. Unfortunately for us she had gotten her pronounces mixed up because everytime she said “you” she meant “me” and when she said “me” she meant “you”. Either that or she felt exactly what I felt but thought I felt the complete opposite. Misunderstandings sux. And I’m just too tired to sort it out, and for what?

Another weird twist was that in my response to her I kinda nailed my problem all along. I can’t say I loved her (we never got that far). I’m actually not sure just how much I wanted her. But what I do know is I loved how I felt when I was with her and I would give everything for feeling what I felt at that one perfect moment back in May.

But, with reservation for anything revolutionary happening, I can finally say…

Chapter closed.

Great expectations

I should have learned by now – never go into something with very high expectations. I went into this weekend with very high expectations and as always got disappointed. Friday night was ok but should’ve been better, it just never kicked off, it was just mediocre. Although saturday was completey up to expectations but sunday was just awful, terrible F1 race and very boring WoW raid and today I feel a bit disappointed. So let’s go into the next weekend with no expectations at all – even if it is a F1 weekend again!

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

The downside of loosing that weight is ofc now I gotta buy alot of new clothes. And the thing is I don’t know I’m quite done loosing it, wanna hit below 90 for the first time since I was 18. I know, it’s a far fetched goal but it’s something to aim at! But today I did something I haven’t done in a long, long time. 6 years to be exact. I bought a new leather jacket. I haven’t had to buy jackets for a long time since I got alot of free stuff when I worked as a consultant. But now I had to buy one and it set me back $200 but well worth it. That almost made up for my visit to the dentist earlier today that didn’t only set me back $100 but also showed I need overhaul in there and that’s always expensive…

Cats and dogs living together!? It’ll be anarchy!!

$10 if you know where that quote comes from 🙂

I don’t like a little bit of chaos. I get too worked up and think too much and it’s just wrong. Like if the train is 10 minutes late I’ll get worried about making it into to work and that thing I had to do first thing in the morning. But fortunately, when the shit really hits the fan I have a really good ability to just lay back and enjoy the chaos and anarchy. And today was one of those times! I got to the trainstation at my usual time, 7:15. And it was a madhouse, no trains going nowhere. So I go to the taxi stop right next to it and there are like hundred people waiting for taxis there, everyone worried about their little thing. So I get into my car instead and start driving and it’s total chaos on the roads too. Tunnels closed, alot of construction works, accidents, really everything shitty happened this morning. And there I was, sitting in the middle of it all and all I could think about was.. “I forgot to shave this morning”…