After a 2 year battle against cancer my oldest sister Amy died at 52 years of age. And four weeks ago we had the funeral service for her and I’m going to try to talk about it here.
Growing up I had two sisters, Amy and Anne-Charlotte (from now on referred to as AC). I remember that me and AC didn’t get along at all and we hated each other. But Amy kept to herself, at least from me. But she got along with AC and whenever we were in Scotland for the summer holidays they would run off together to do fun things while I was “stuck” with my parents. At least until I was like 12 or 13 and could shoot a game of pool at the pub. So growing up I hardly knew her unfortunately. But one of the good memories I have is one time when I had the house to myself for a few days and she stopped by and we watched some 80’s flicks together.
Then when I turned 16 I started working at a fast food restaurant in Stockholm and Amy was shift leader. But she worked weekdays and I worked weekends since I was still in school so I hardly saw her there either. Then she met her Paul and moved to Scotland to start a family. And I barely saw her after that.
We did meet for some family events and we met when they would come by Sweden now and then. And I went over there a few times to celebrate her 30th and 40th, and also the awesome weekend in Silverstone ’05 and so on. But we were never close and in some weird way we were fine with that.
When we first heard of the diagnosis back in July 2020 it was right when the world was panicking about covid. And one place that really panicked was UK so the idea of jumping on a plane to go see her was quickly ruled out. Then the prognosis was bad, then good, then bad, then not so bad, then terrible over a 2 year period which was awful for everyone but especially for her but also AC.
I did manage to get over there in July 2022 to met her and the family over there which was good although the diagnosis then was terrible but she was still in good spirits which was fun to see.
Then she had (or maybe I should say “made it”) a great Christmas, a Christmas that she wouldn’t have according to the doctors. And she turned 52 but after that her body couldn’t fight it anymore.
And in the last weekend of February we went over there to deal with a funeral service. Amy had already met the people organizing the funeral service so everything was done according to her wishes. The opening of the ceremony was spent remembering the good life she had starting a family in Scotland and her 30 years over there. And it made me sad because I realized how much I had missed, how little I knew about her life there. But then there was a great slideshow to some awesome music to remember the good times and that made most people feel better – I know I did. And after that some snacks and refreshments and talking to all the friends and family over there, most of whom I had no idea about. It all made me regret not taking the time to go over there more often!
After all that I headed back to the hotel for some alone time with “Drive to Survive” that premiered that weekend which made sense considering that was one of the few things me and Amy had in common. Then the day after I went home again. Or tried to go home but KLM did a terrible mess of the entire thing.
And now a few weeks after the fact it’s starting to sink it. And I still get reminded of Amy a little now and then, especially thanks to Facebook that likes to point out that we both liked Formula 1!
So all in all… “live your best life” and “you always regret the things you didn’t do”.
