How tha fuck do you deal with this kind of thing? I’m doing my best trying to be optimistic, and then trying to think of all the good times I had with my friend, but every time I’m hit with the thought about all the good times we never had… like another friends wedding this summer, that was gonna be a blast… shit… I know you’re not suppose to feel this way, but I keep on feeling guilty for all things I didn’t do, for all times I wasn’t with him because I was too busy doing my own thing. and then I realise how fucking egoistic that is… but.. fuck, my best friend is gone… it feels so surreal, I spoke with him on sunday evening, and now he’s gone.
Nothing more I can say to him. Nothing more I can do with him, no more beer, no more watching “Star Trek” every week, no more…
It’s so fucking sad loosing someone you know so well and you’re on the same wave-length… we could just go on laughing for hours about something weird, or be in a room and one would say “you’re all different” and the other one would reply “I’m not”.. we knew each other so well and could finish each others sentences… no more of that..
my best friend is dead…

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