DEALING WITH IT

How tha fuck do you deal with this kind of thing? I’m doing my best trying to be optimistic, and then trying to think of all the good times I had with my friend, but every time I’m hit with the thought about all the good times we never had… like another friends wedding this summer, that was gonna be a blast… shit… I know you’re not suppose to feel this way, but I keep on feeling guilty for all things I didn’t do, for all times I wasn’t with him because I was too busy doing my own thing. and then I realise how fucking egoistic that is… but.. fuck, my best friend is gone… it feels so surreal, I spoke with him on sunday evening, and now he’s gone.
Nothing more I can say to him. Nothing more I can do with him, no more beer, no more watching “Star Trek” every week, no more…
It’s so fucking sad loosing someone you know so well and you’re on the same wave-length… we could just go on laughing for hours about something weird, or be in a room and one would say “you’re all different” and the other one would reply “I’m not”.. we knew each other so well and could finish each others sentences… no more of that..
my best friend is dead…

ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE

Today I got one of the worst calls a person can receive… my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
my best friends is dead…
… ???? !!!!!
…. my best friends is dead……..

PAYDAY

Payday in Sweden. For most people anyway. Unless you didn’t know, we only get paid once a month in sweden, and most people get it on the 25th (although that depends on the company you’re working for).

Anyway, I got a real “heard of them first and got the T-shirt to prove it”-story. Guess who’s topping the charts here in Stockholm and who is played constantly on the radio and European MTV?… check my update on December 30th 🙂

5 days to go!

FUNERAL

Last minute preperations… here goes… if you wanna make a surprise appearence, here’s some info about the service.

BILLY JOEL

I recently saw an interview with Billy Joel. I haven’t really been a big fan of his, he’s done some pretty good songs over the years, but I like him more after this interview! First of all, he totally shares my opinion that the music industry is on an express elevator to hell as far as MUSIC is concerned, although the shows might be better now than they were 20 years ago, the music sure ain’t!

But what I really liked was his reply to the question “are you happy?” – “happiness is an extreme, so you can’t really be happy for an extended amount of time. But I believe being ‘content’ is underestimated”. Damn right dude! (that’s not an exact quote, I wasn’t recording it but that was essentially the point)

Btw, Sweden is (AGAIN!) the European champions in handboll. Joy!

Anyways, less than 4 weeks to go…

TONE

Time for a little happier update : Tone Bekkestad. Tone is a Norwegian metrologist on Swedish TV4. And she always makes me smile! Not only because she’s a beautiful woman, but because it’s something so bizarre hearing a norwegian-speaking person talking Swedish geography and weather! Something bizarre, yet funny, about that! So by all means, carry on…

ASTRID LINDGREN

Today is a day of mourning 🙁 One of the greatest writers ever passed away today. Astrid Lindgren… damn…. damn… don’t really know what to say about it.. She inspired so many people. She gave us all hope. She made things seem so much better. There’s just no words to describe how I feel about her work, her books and children stories that I was brought up with. And not only me, the generation before as well as the one after me. She will be grately missed and I hope, if there is a heaven or a better place after death, she’ll run it. Cause no one ever made me feel as … as much as she did. I’m not an emotional person, but reading through “Mio min Mio” is an emotional roller coaster.

She will be missed by all. Except the Nobel foundation who missed the window of opportunity to give her a Prize for her incredible legacy! Shame on you!

PRETENTIOUS

I got a new favorite word – “pretentious”. Can’t go into any details since I’m working at a lawfirm and don’t wanna get sued for slander.

On a totally different note – congrats to Thomas Johansson for winning the Australien Open. Which btw is totally related to my next statement:

Five weeks to go…

STATUS REPORT

My sister (the one in Scotland) told me I should update more, so I am.

“There’s nothing to report.”
(quote from “Star Trek Deep Space Nine” when Odo is forced to make a log)

Less than 6 weeks to go..

BEAUTY

I heard another dead-on, totally perfect quote today : “I don’t love you because you’re beautiful. You’re beautiful because I love you.”

Now who can argue with that? I have two examples which proves that theory, and they are both named Maria. I’m not gonna bother you with the sobby story about either of them, I’ll just leave you to wonder about the quote yourself. (of course, with my luck with women if I’d ever apply that quote the person on the receiving end would interpret it as “you aren’t really good looking, but I like you anyway”, which would be an insult… hm, loose-loose situation… kinda like the pants which are always the perfect size and never makes any part of the female body look too big!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Another boring day at work, so I though I’d update his page a little. I’ve added a nice subtle background image to some pages, normal white background didn’t look that good.
I’ve also redone the menu so you can more easily find my Bio– and Thoughts-pages.
And by the way – HAPPY NEW YEAR! I know my friend Dazza over at NataliePortman.Com is going to anyway, he just hooked up with a Dane-babe and they really seem to have something going there. Way to go Darren!

CHRISTMAS

So how was your X-mas ? Mine was excellent. One more holiday with the family, predictable presents (the reason for that is ’cause a secret project coming up in January). I also got into a pretty deep debate about some big problems in the world today, and I just realised – I’ve got lots of bottled up opinions and stuff. So I’d thought I’d start sharing them with the rest of you!
The reason for that is not to brag about how deep and sensitive I can be. It’s rather a way for me to start a debate, and hopefully someone will take the bait and disagree with me. I hate going around with weird opinions and, god forbid, incorrect information about something. So read it and please mail me your opinions!
The first topic I’ll share my thoughts and opinions on with you is racism. I just saw “American History X”, so….

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Now it’s really X-mas time! But a very un-white X-mas it’ll be, atleast here in Sweden. But today we (as in “our company”) are going out for the annual X-mas lunch, lots of food, fun and some alcohol. I do have a history of having a bit too much fun at these lunches, but so what – that’s what they are for, right?
Unfortuntely, I don’t have any great quotes about Christmas, so I’ll end this with a normal –
MERRY X-MAS, AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

CHRISTMAS TIME

X-mas time! I love Christmas ! I JUST LOVE IT! Happy happy joy joy!! The best holiday of them all! 🙂
Anyway, I’ve updated my bio with pics and info about this years Beer festival that I went to with Eden (a fellow trekker and movie freak), my sis and her Paul, my father, Per (a friend from work) and his lovely girlfriend.
So how about another quote?

” Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! “ – Patrick Henry, March 23rd, 1775

NOT JEWISH

Someone (less worthy to be called a person) called me “Jewish fucker” in my guestbook. First of all, I’d be happy to be called a “Jewish fucker” if I was Jewish (or sexually involved with one). But I’m not. I can only guess he called me that because of the recent quotes. The guy has obviously not read the book. If he had he would soon find it’s not as much about the Germans mistreating Jewish people, but more about the classic scenario about one group of people suppressing another and the methods they used. And that’s it.

And on that subject, here’s another quote but this time from Marthin Luther King Jr.: “Freedom is never voluntarily given by the opressor; it must be demanded by the opressed.”

SURVIVING AUSCHWITZ

Get ready for another deep quote from the Auschwitz book:
“Stienlauf sees me and greets me, then asks me why I’m not cleaning myself. Why should I? Would it make me feel better about myself? Would I please someone else? Would I live a day, an hour longer if I did? No, I’d only live shorter, because washing is labour, it’s a drain of energy and warmth. [..] [He said] “Because this entire camp is a machine meant to turn us into animals, which is why we can’t turn into animals. One can survive this, and that is why we must want to survive – to be able to witness and give our testimony; and to live it’s important to maintain the backbone of civilisation. We’re slaves, without legal rights, exposed to insults and an almost certain death, but we have a chance and we must defend it at all costs, because it’s the only one we got – the option of not consenting. Therefor, it is crucial we must wash our faces, without soap and in the dirty water.””
Sorry for the rough translation, best I could do. I’ve now updated my Natalie Portman fan-page with reviews to include all her movies (even some speculation about the SW movies). I’ve still some work to do with the Flash anims, don’t know when I’ll be inspired enough to do them. And tonight is the night of the MTV’s European Music Awards show here in Stockholm. I’m not disappointed I won’t be there – as far as I know there’s only one reason to see it – MOBY !

BORED AGAIN

Still not much happening in my life. Does anyone have a more interesting life for sale?
Anyway, in lack of better things to do I redid my Natalie Portman page. AGAIN. I know, I know, it’s the third time but this time it’s better and nicer. I think so anyway.
Well, guess it’s back to Primo Levi again… (depressing but still interesting!)

PRIMO LEVI

I’ve started reading a book by Primo Levi (1919 -> 1987) called “Survival in Auschwitz”. And everyone who knows me are probably saying “Kris? READING A BOOK!?”. I’ve only read two books (other than computer literature) in my entire life, so you better believe me when I say it’s a book worth reading!
(and for those of you who are wondering, the other two books are “The Neverending Story” (by Michael Ende) and “The Fourth K” (by Mario Puzo)
I’ve also expanded my “member of” list to include Greenpeace. Do I even need to explain why ?
On a personal note – there was a “9th grade graduation 10th annivarsary reunion” in Nynäshamn last weekend. I had, by choice, forgotten all about it so I didn’t bother to show up. To everyone who missed me – sorry! But let’s face it, if anyone puts me in the same room as some of the people who helped making my early teens the living hell it was – they are asking for trouble.

PARTYING

Not much happening here. I was out partying with Henrik, Janne and Jocke again last satuday and ended up trying to get from one twilight zone (aka Brandbergen) to another (aka Lyngsta) at 6 am with a bit too much to drink. I finally got home at about 8.30 and soaking wet, but man did we have fun! The project to upgrade everything here to Flash is scrapped untill I get my hands on the new Flash 5, but I’ll update bio and “about me” section.

THE CRUISE

I finally got a hold of the pics from our Finn-cruise. Unfortunately, due to a mishap the reel for the first day was unusable 🙁 And that was the day when most of the funny things happened (like me+Åsa spontaneous version of “Living Next Door to Alice”). Anyway, you’ll have to make do with the photos from “the day after”. Check my bio for the pics.